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mommanessy247
Rookie

10 Posts

Posted - Aug 21 2009 :  08:15:43 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
I'm posting about my fiancee. Let me start by introducing myself. Im a 29 yr old mom of an 8 yr old & 5 yr old. I smoked for 14 years & have had chronic bronchitis for the last 5 yrs. I quit smoking last year when i found out i had copd. My aunt died of lung cancer so when i found out i had lung disease I had a breakdown. My problem now, my fiancee refuses to quit & im frustrated because he continues to put mine & our kids health in jeopardy for his own benefit, is what it boils down to. Sure he quits here & there but then gives in the the urges again a few days later. I feel like he's not really trying hard enough & that he's gonna end up like me, with lung disease, or worse before he finally kicks the habit.

Sandy07
Member

Canada
379 Posts

Posted - Aug 21 2009 :  09:29:32 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
First..he should , at least, be smoking outside. You must make him do this.
Second..people quit many times before it finally works. For myself..it didn't help when people nagged at me. It made me smoke more. I needed to do it for myself and needed to be mentally ready. Support groups have the best results. See if you can get him here or a group in your town.
I wouldn't nag at him but it might be good to occasionally let him know that "he smells". That's what did it for me. Congratulations on YOUR quit. Now support him if he quits and then let him know he "smells better". Good luck.
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mommanessy247
Rookie

10 Posts

Posted - Aug 21 2009 :  09:48:09 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
thanks sandy. for the most part he does smoke outside or in the garage, but every now & then he'll have one inside, which makes me mad cuz the next morning when i find the ashes he apologizes & calls himself an idiot. last time i told him "that doesn't change anything, just don't do it again."
So far i haven't found any ashes so...
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DonJay
Rookie

USA
3 Posts

Posted - Oct 11 2009 :  9:26:30 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Perhaps some reading, on your fiancee's part, will entice him to quit. Have him click on <<Link remove - please do not keep posting it>>
It makes the stongest argument I have came across on the web for not smoking.
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Popcorn
Rookie

USA
9 Posts

Posted - Oct 30 2009 :  11:43:18 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
I wouldn't be angry with him. It sounds like he is really
trying. Not an easy thing to do. No one could have made me quit expecially if it was demanded. I did finally quit 3 1/2 yrs ago, but still struggle every day. Gained a lot of weight, and I mean A LOT. Don't know which is worse, smoking or the weight. I think if you show him you understand how difficult it is and if he does smoke it must be outside for the sake of yourself and the children he might be more able to give them up. Anyhow, that's only a thought, everyone is different. Good Luck!!
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ullysses
Rookie

USA
22 Posts

Posted - Nov 29 2010 :  9:28:42 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
All situations are under your control, your control only! Make the decision you need to and make it known that the rules are the rules, no exception. Tough love can work with self will and love.

Al...

Para Bellum
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benjamin-KY
Member

USA
107 Posts

Posted - Nov 30 2010 :  1:52:59 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
until it becomes real for him personally not much will change. we all know that smoking is just a long tern suicide plan but, you didn't quit yourself until it hit you hard enough to realize that a nasty but pleasurable habit has some very serious consequences.

He is trying, give him that.

If you take the advice of celebrities you get what you deserve.
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